I must be the only girl in the world who doesn't like California
with its golden hours and easy weather
and wide smiles, hiding
all the lies
See, I was raised on easy weather and salty breezes
and life happens anyway
pain is a betrayal
set against a backdrop
of cloudless skies and fair weather friends
who won't come out to play when the sun stops shining
Perhaps this is why I'm drawn to New York City
I love the struggle and the grit of it
it doesn't fake it
it just is
as if to say
life is pain
love is fleeting
But you are different
California
this is easy like a sunny day
even the grit in you is fine
garnet, for polishing
(220 and above)
You trace fingers against live edges
leave them wild
chuckle at my constant swearing
wonder at the way darkness is always
just under
the surface of me
lurking
poised for my next victim
(my next victim is always me)
Like all great loves
you teach me
more about myself
than what I knew
before you knew me
past lovers called me willful
(they wanted me afraid)
I can almost taste the smooth dark syrup of your voice
it drips down the center of me
I am sticky in you
You lull me into submission with your sweetness
I am conquered
the way they always wanted me to be
You shape me like a piece of hard wood
it takes patience
you understand why someone like me could
go against the grain
a deep short cut to beautiful
(you know it's worth the pain)
You smooth me
California
grind me
New York City
I take shape for you
this love is both
golden hour
gritty